I picked up a mom's devotional book this morning and read about the fear that mom's have. You name it and we fear it. Something struck a nerve. Maybe that is how C and I are acting towards each other. We are living with so much unknown and fear in our lives that we are lashing out at each other. I have always thought that it was her misbehaving, but maybe her acts are out of fear and my reactions are out of fear. Does that make any sense.
My heart stopped for a moment when I walked in my room and heard the news announcer claim that 9 American troops were killed in Afghanistan. The last time that there was a mass casualty on foreign soil one of the sailor's parents were notified by phone because there were not enough personnel to make all the rounds before the names got to the media. You can read about that disaster in the book Lone Survivor. Talk about bringing on some fear.
I don't watch the news, speak of the danger, or voice my worries in front of the kids but I am sure that C knows it more that I realize. I am halfway through this deployment and things are not going to get any easier. Today is a new day and with my faith in God I am sure that we can overcome our fears and start treating each other better.
AMANDA
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