Friday, April 10, 2009

Who am I?

At times I find it very difficult to be more than one person at a time, but how do you not do it. I chose the decisions that I did because I felt that was were the Lord was leading me. It is hard enough being a military wife or a homeschooling mama without mixing the two. These days I feel so overwhelmed.
I have always felt blessed by my life. Even considering all the downs mixed with the ups. I knew I was doing exactly what I was supposed to do. There is something that I have loved about every duty station and there are people all over the country that I miss dearly.
Now we are surviving a year away much farther from family, in a house that needs some work, with a schedule that is stressful, and we are homeschooling.
Except homeschooling is not going so well. We are both unhappy with each other and I awake every day dreading the fight that lays before us to get the work done. Of course, you can say that it is the move or spring fever, but this has been going on since the get go and I am worn out. I have changed everything more than once, had a rigid schedule and a relaxed schedule, took away privileges, and just ignored that lack of work she was doing, but now I am out of steam and tired of it all. The unfortunate thing is that she is behind in so many things because we relaxed so much to let her reading improve. Her reading has improved freatly although she will ask you every time what a word is before she sounds it out.
C would rather do what she wants to do all day long and the moment that something, anything, happens to upset her then we all pay for it the rest of the day. She cannot sit still and do an assignment and she will not do an assignment at all unless someone is standing over her. Poor little brother gets yelled at making a noise and disturbing her. All those actions are ridiculous in my book. There is not a day that goes by that one of us is not in tears. Usually her, multiple times, with screaming and shouting mixed in.
I wish there was a magic formula, but what I want more than anything is cooperation from all involved to get that formula figured out. I am sure that there is a way to make school fun for her. I just wish someone would tell me what it is.
I got the book Homeschooling the Child with ADD (and other Special Needs). I have no idea if that is C's problem but I thought that the book might give me some ideas.
Now my ranting is over. Thank you for listening. I feel better now.

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